Certified Sex Coach

View Original

Nourish Your Orgasmic Life

My darling reader:

Some days my life feels so heartbreakingly beautiful, I want to cry, then whoop with joy. Losing myself looking deeply into someone's eyes, contemplating the power of the ocean, feeling the divine in a grove of old oak trees. I wake to my own brilliance and feel connected to the great mystery - the universe itself. Not just watching from the outside, but literally plugged in! Ahh... those are good days. Orgasmic days!

Other days, I feel distant from my partners, children and friends. Stuck in a dystopian world that's tilted sideways and gone mad. The ever present threat of climate change (why are we still eating meat?), the near total abortion ban in Texas, the depression & isolation of a pandemic... so heartbreakingly sad it feels almost too much to feel.

The sideways scuttle of a sand crab makes me smile, and reminds me that things aren't always forward or back, black or white, happy or sad, monogamous or not, male or female, straight or queer - there's a lot of rainbow in between. Bring on the sparkles! Not the glittery high-heel kind, though they can be fun on occasion too, but rather the simple, small bites of nourishment we all need.

How do I find the rainbow and how might you too, my dear reader, feed and nourish your own orgasmic life?

By letting the feelings flow, intensely if need be. By slowing down and taking a sacred pause. The old me would choose movement as a means of dissociation - ride my bike, go for a run, not in a meditative way but to avoid feeling. The new me, having moved with sacredness into this wiser, older way of being in the world, continues to choose joy but after processing and feeling. I still bike and run, but I use the white space, that flow time, to actually feel. It becomes the sacred pause in my day, like a time out. A moving meditation.

Other times, I feel the call for stillness. I plant my feet on the ground, send my imaginary roots deep down into Lover Gaia, the center of the earth, sending down into the ground anything I no longer need, and drawing up heat, fiery passion, wellness and hope from the very center of the earth. This is grounding. It's also using this equation: Mindfulness (where I choose to focus my attention) + Imagination = Changed Felt Sense. It's an important tool to embracing an orgasmic life. We can't always choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we respond. I choose the door marked Pleasure! PRO Tip: Try imagining 1,000 white lights shining on your genitals while having sex, or your genitals as an actual magic wand - plugged into the cosmos.

And I hum - this is an ancient tool of self-regulation. And a delight since it frees me from actually having to remember the lyrics to a song or trying to sing on key!

I also hug myself, and others, whenever possible. Try placing your right hand underneath your left arm pit. Wrap your left arm over your chest and use your left arm to hug your right shoulder. Squeeze. And hum! Because why the hell not?! And when you hug, remember to take that sacred pause. Stop and feel long enough to feel the belly (yours or someone else's) rise and fall. Or to hear breath (yours or someone else's). Let the heart beat a few times. Let your nervous system melt into relaxation and simply take a time out from the world.

Last but not least, to find the rainbow and nourish your orgasmic life, masturbate. By this I mean truly self-pleasure. Sink into loving yourself. It's not always about genital stimulation. Sometimes I simply rub lotion on my body, listen to groovy music and feel beautiful. Other times, I confess, it's super hot, mindblowingly so. And still, for me, this is a bit like going to the gym. I may not feel like it. Desire may follow arousal instead of the other way around. But I always feel better for having exercised my self-pleasure muscles.

So yes, bring on the sparkles! Nourish your own orgasmic life by choosing pleasure, passion & purpose.

To learn more, please reach out. I'd love to help you be your best sexual self with one-on-one coaching. I also have some incredible workshops coming up - learn more under the workshop tab. Hope to see you soon!

Wishing you much embodied pleasure, XOXO,
Amy