photo credit: TrashRiot
Hello My Darlings!
I've been disbelieving, disappointed, devastated and downright depressed. Plus, my husband would tell you I've been disagreeable. And just between you and me, I have to admit he’s right. Because, and without wailing and raging as so many others have done, I will simply state what is probably obvious- this is not a good time to be a woman. Not here in our divided America, not in the so-called shit-hole countries, not in Saudi Arabia, not anywhere.
Admittedly, my white privilege and middle-class economics protect me from much.
But not from feeling like a bent and broken reed in a chorus of divisiveness. Lately, I’ve been feeling like all the good work, the soul-filling work I do as a somatic sex educator and coach is a teeny tiny drop in a huge and overwhelmingly deep well of need and sorrow. Women, men and all the rainbow of genders in between have been harmed by, and caused harm in the name of, the toxic culture of sex negativity, shaming, denial and unhealthy masculinity / patriarchy that victimizes and silences voice and choice. Between #MeToo, and the macabre spectacle of Kavanaugh’s SCOTUS nomination, I felt trapped in a nightmare.
Fortunately, while blindly seeking the light and stumbling around, I had 3 incredible teachers pick me up, dust me off, and inspire me to light-up from within, to keep radiating, to tell my truth and my story. That is:
To keep teaching that the secret key, the hard-to-believe little known fact, is that pleasure is healing.
And, it is not hyperbole or overstating in any way to say that pleasure is the key to saving ourselves, humankind and the planet. Self-pleasure or partnered pleasure, it doesn’t matter. Sink into pleasure- heart-felt, healthy, fully embodied, joyful sexual pleasure and you free yourself. Sounds “woo-woo”, I know. But it’s really ancient, feminine wisdom we can all embrace, regardless of gender, race, age or sexual orientation, and use to re-orient to health and wellness.
First, my wise teacher/daughter sent me this article
and I am ever so grateful to both her and its author, Adrienne Maree Brown. Take the time to read it, you’ll be so glad you did. From #MeToo to #WeConsented: Reclaiming the Pleasure of Consent. Wondering how to do consent? Read this article and stay tuned. More soon!
Then, I read some of Ta-Nehisi Coates' powerful book "Between the World and Me",
about racial violence, struggle, injustice and the physical security of black bodies. While I know absolutely nothing of growing up on the streets or living in daily fear, I know a little something about the struggle to be seen as an individual. The need to own my body and what happens to it. The fear and loss of control, the blame, the trauma, the ugliness and randomness of being seen or not seen. And while Coates may not see the parallels between the lives of black men and vulva-owners, I’m pretty sure Toni Morrison and Oprah would.
And finally, by my third fairy godmother, the Ecstatic Living Institute and Margot Anand, founder of SkyDancing Tantra, I was reminded of my purpose.
To help us all see and believe in our true beauty. To reunite our minds, bodies and souls through pleasure, because this natural ecstasy frees and connects us to spirit.
Can erotic embodiment, sex and pleasure, really do all this? Yes!
Reach out to me or any other somatic sex educator to reclaim your birthright, to FEEL alive and erotically empowered, and to help save the world - one orgasm and one whole and healthy person at a time!
Wishing you much joy,